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This would suggest that not only do most couples see value in combining their romance with friendship, but that those who do go on to form more successful and long-lasting connections. Gary Lewandowski, a professor and chair of psychology at Monmouth University who researches the dynamics of romantic partnerships, explained, “Considering your romantic partner to be your best friend is an important component of quality relationships.In fact, when researchers asked couples who have been married over 15 years why their relationship lasted, the top reason was that their partner is their best friend.” This is a very different attitude than was prevalent 25 years ago.Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on Good
You can—and should—delight in the heart-pounding giddiness of love. But if you want the whole thing to last, then you need friendship, too. Think of your own good friends, the ones who have your back, the ones who are there for you, no matter what.
In a 1993 study, only 44% – less than half – of respondents who were in a relationship indicated that their partner was their best friend.
The idea that those numbers have nearly doubled is not a coincidence, and it represents a shifting idea of romantic relationships in our society.
Researchers have pinned down the chemicals that flow in our brains and bodies when we have that rush of romantic excitement. A psychologist in York, England, had subjects who were complete strangers follow this protocol: They told each other intimate details of their lives for half an hour and then were directed to stare into each other’s eyes for another four minutes without speaking.
In fact, the chemistry mimics the high of addiction.