Im too picky with dating men
And whether that’s because I’m getting creepy vibes or he reminds me of my ex or I’m just plain not feeling any sparks, I’m allowed to listen to and honour that.
Oh, also, I eventually want kids, so wasting time on someone I’m not into is…questionable advice. I love the surprised, excited text from the bathroom (“Guys, I’m on a super-good date!!!
It makes sense, too, in a twisted kind of way: If you find enough faults to decide so-and-so is not the right match for you, eventually you can put off everyone and will never have to actually face the stress of a long-term relationship. Because you’ll always manage to push all the prospective partners away!
The Good News: I’m happy to reassure you that extremely picky daters can change if they want to do so.
The Fear Factor: It goes without saying that it’s not so great if you fall into the extremely picky camp. What causes someone to be so picky and overly discerning? Extreme pickiness is a giant blob of defense mechanisms with an underlying fear of a real long-term romantic relationship.
Underneath it all, people who are extremely picky are afraid to depend on someone for fear of getting hurt.
My heart goes out to those men and women who have spent years being extremely picky — aka too afraid — because I believe they have missed out on a lot of the comfort that can come with a long-term relationship.
Once you find someone you’re compatible with, you actually create a new family.
“It’s like no one’s good enough for her.” I know she meant well, but my friends’ words stung.
Ultimately, there is nothing more beautiful than having the power to create a new family from scratch.
“Please don’t assume you know what my standards are simply because I am single and you are not.” The other night, during catch-up drinks with a few close friends, they (unsurprisingly) asked about my dating life.
I constantly hear variations on the idea of “being too picky” directed at myself and other single women, although the language tends to be softer: It took me a while to fall in love with my husband, you should give the guy a fair chance since he really seems to like you.
Hey, it’s not everyday you meet a smart, cute, successful guy like him.