Dealing with intimidating personalities
Their ability to effortlessly be who they were, speak their truth, and command the crowd only punctuated the fact that I struggled to do so myself.For example, during my first year in college, I seemingly out of nowhere developed the uncontrollable, nervous habit of repeating the last thing someone had just said in a social setting.What assumptions are you making about them and your relationship? In his book, , Gay Hendricks describes the “zone of genius” as the place where your greatest passion and your innate gifts meet. What unique power and talents do you bring to the table?Your zone isn’t just about what you’re decent, good, or even excellent at… Focus on those strengths — rather than fixating on your perceived weaknesses — and tap into your inner rock star.You may find that underneath their scary exterior, there’s a person. Recognize your similarities rather than focusing on your perceived differences.Also, realize that even the most challenging people are struggling with their own insecurities (which may manifest as aggressiveness or insensitivity).Communicating with someone who intimidates you can be quite the daunting task.
The listener is more inclined to feel put on the spot, and compelled to respond with greater attentiveness.
As a staunch introvert, loud, aggressive, and/or insensitive people always intimidated me (and sometimes they still do). When I to engage them, I’d often lose my train of thought and fumble through my words or simply fade into the background, letting those around me dominate the conversation.
I eventually realized that there were two glaring problems with my approach: If you’re feeling intimidated by someone, understand that your fear gives them power over you and allows them to dictate your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Is it their overall demeanor, personality, approach, tone, title/position, education level, financial status, viewpoint, or something else?
Is there an underlying fear or limiting belief about yourself that’s actually at play?
This might be a belief that no one cares about what you have to say, which might affect how you interact with those who speak up seemingly without fear.