Dating in the dark results

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To be blunt: White guys, you often approach black women in a harmful way.Most white men are unaware of the microaggressions towards their black partner that make their chances for a second date slim to none.This is not a game to us, nor is it something we can ignore.Our race and gender affects the way we carry ourselves, and this uncomfortable mindfulness is something that white men simply cannot relate to.He kept touching my hair without my consent, was legitimately disappointed that I could not twerk, and called me “sassy” whenever I voiced an opinion that was different from his.

You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!

So, in order to avoid some head and heartaches down the road for both parties, I’d like to offer white men some suggestions on how to best approach us.

This won’t apply to every black woman, but it wouldn’t hurt to infuse some intersectional feminism into your game.

While it may be hard for two people from widely different intersections of race and gender to understand each other, it’s not impossible once the more privileged party (in this case, the white guy) is able to recognize their shortcomings and how the intersections of race and gender affect every aspect of a black woman’s life.

A white man must be willing to work toward a better understanding of how race and gender intersect differently for everyone, and he must also be prepared to speak out against the injustices that their partners will endure.

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