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17: "Let Him Take the Lead"), and above all happy and busy, breezy and lighthearted.
As of 27 January 2017, 1319 singles have reached number one.
" The authors, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, built a business offering phone consultations and in-person seminars, spreading the gospel of steely passivity to lovelorn women. I recently told a friend that it was the 20th anniversary of The Rules, and she whispered, "The crazy thing is, most of that book was right." The Rules is a rather incoherent mashup of good, practical advice (don't waste your energy on someone who's not interested), retro gender essentialisms (men don't like funny women), and bizarre anecdotes (Bruce and Jill went bed shopping together for her apartment, and to prove she wasn't angling for marriage, Jill bought a single bed instead of the queen-size bed, which worked, because then they got married, and then they had to buy a queen-size bed, hah-hah-hah. I was an only child, raised by an eccentric single mother who longed for a more conventional family. " he screamed, as the comic lifted his eyebrows and I shrank in my seat. "Refrigerator it is," said the comic, and the show started. The next week, I again waited for him to call (Rule No. 9: "Be Sweet and Light." "I got to AA every day," he said.
The Rules was roundly denounced by feminists — "I asked my boyfriend out! I fetishized traditional marriage, and I was sure other women knew something about men I didn't know. 5: Don't Call Him, and Rarely Return His Calls"), and when he did I offered no input about what I wanted to do on our date ("He picks most of the movies, the restaurants and concerts the two of you go to"). "Every single day for 13 years." "But — you're only 30," I said.
Rules support groups for women sprang up around the country. To wit: In bed, "don't be a drill sergeant, demanding that he do this or that. Remember, those are your needs you're concerned about filling, and The Rules are a selfless way of living and handling a relationship." The reader is left wondering when she could finally let her — long! — hair down and be her pushy, needy, authentic self. A subsequent book was The Rules for Marriage.) But what The Rules offered, more than anything, was a strategy.
The book prompted a screaming match on Oprah's show; she devoted a whole episode to the topic of "do The Rules work or don't they? But the overall theme, presented to you as lovingly as your captor might tuck you in at night, is: adjust to men's needs. I was certain, at the age of 26, that my failure to secure a boyfriend meant I was doing something wrong.